Airport List 1.2

Not to beat a dead horse, but the topic is appropriate and it proves that I am alive in the post-world (I like that potential double meaning). This list includes all airports this generalist has used within the past year:

1. Seattle – extra clean, efficient with the main terminal in the center and all of the concourses equidistant in a hub-and-spoke set-up with two satellites, Starbuck’s (and other worthy competitors), Quizno’s (do not sleep folks), aptly placed powerwalks
2. Atlanta – ingenious recharging station, especially given it’s a hub for connecting flights; Chick-Fil-A; might drop if I experience one of its connecting delays that I often hear about
3. Birmingham – given its location and my expectation, it just gets the job done
4. Orlando – initially, the airport that served the "House of the Mouse" was non-descript but then right smack-dab in the middle of my terminal was an Outback Steakhouse - both in the form of a restaurant and quick carryout: Kookaburra wings = top 5 for the kid
5. Detroit – shocker yes...but the restaurant lineup is rather sick (Sushi/Japanese, Sports Bar) and there is a train that runs inside the terminal which looks cool if nothing else; drawbacks are that it has a flat horizontal design instead of the hub-and-spoke as preferred by yours truly, the rental car offices are a nice shuttle ride away from the terminals, and the passenger pickup is extra-congested but because I don't normally have to pick up anyone, I don't have much comparison
6. Reno - probably what Las Vegas should be - an airport at which you don't mind being because you can also gamble; it's a perfect time-killer further enhanced by the picturesque mountains of Tahoe surrounding the area
7. Newark – it could be #2 just because its relative to freaking La Guardia and JFK though it is relatively efficient, more than enough self check-ins, and the food court is in between the multiple gate corridors for easy access; but THE kicker: when my man sings either tunes or instructions at the security check-point, straight up, he can blow; drawback – if I’m not flying on the company, the air-tran is slow as hell, travels in the worst possible order, and the price went from $2 to $5 = rip-off
8. St. Louis – with the exception of my freshman year debacle (did not get on two consecutive flights, spent 8 hours at the airport) I've never had a problem; good use of curb-side check-in, and making Southwest its own terminal was the smartest thing it could do
9. Boston - it's a decent experience given this is a major city plus the clam chowder is bangin (naturally) and I've caught a beer special or two (naturally) during my waits
10. Sacramento – cousin to Birmingham but not on its level because America West’s curbside check-in rules are absolutely absurd - when I flew they said you could only use curbside if you were flying direct with no connection – HELLO! America West is supposed to be the gateway to the west, most people are going to have a connect…so while there was a snake line inside 6 layers deep, the 2-3 three guys “working” outside were doing nothing my entire half-hour in line because almost NO ONE could use their check-in
11. Charlottesville – I don't know where to put this because I don't even know if you can consider this an airport; it has 4 maybe 5 gates, all planes are extra small commuter jets (not for those who have even a small fear of flying), and you must walk on the runway when you get off the plane; its probably the size of a typical public library - it just is, so I just threw it in the middle
12. Los Angeles - it's stupid big but I have yet to have a bad experience; for now, it receives a decent rating because the weather is almost always nicer here when you walk out of the airport than the one from which you came
13. Greensboro – I don't know where to put this either because its pretty non-descript, no traffic to the airport gets it put in the middle
14. Baltimore-Washington – given the alternatives, its location is decent and has less traffic to and from while the airport is easily navigable; however, it is very prone to extra long security lines that on some days have stretched back to neighboring terminals - if JFK can get them done BWI should be able to as well
15. Washington Dulles – another flat horizontally designed airport that makes for mad long walks and then given that the power walks used to ameliorate the long walks require taking escalators down and then back up to what amounts to 3-4 floors leaves yet another Washington, D.C. area airport on the wrong side of #10
16. Washington National – good lighting indeed, its open aired enclosed by glass all around - has a feel and look that new recreational centers are moving toward (away from the dark dungeons); I tend to dislike rental car dropoffs that require a shuttle to get to terminals and its necessary in some cases here; though I have avoided it, I also know that it could be hell getting through traffic to get to its location
17. Chicago Midway - the centrally located and reasonably priced Potbelly gives this place some legs and similar to Newark serving New York, its relative to god-awful O'Hare, but its also the first place where the Southwest Airlines folks weren't completely on point; moreover, many ATA flights in-and-out of this airport and I cannot stand ATA
18. Miami - blah; I just like the fact that MIA is the abreviation both for Miami and for Miami International Airport - I'm obviously searching here
19. Milwaukee – I don’t remember anything at all about the airport, though I did fly Midwest Express to get there and loved it – flights equipped with big leather seats and they served up delicious freshly made chocolate chip cookies
20. San Jose - ditto though I do remember the car rental being a shuttle ride away and you know that's a pet peeve though it's likely deserving of a weather bumb as well
21. New York JFK – in terms of service, I rate it above La Guardia but I tend to fly LGA because its closer – JFK’s drawback = it seems so freaking far from Manhattan; surprisingly, its security is relatively quick and the partitioning of airlines across multiple terminals aid that
22. Phoenix – America West’s hub and I’m not the biggest fan of that airline so it loses points off the break; the signage (America West, again) is inadequate; the gates are ALL long walks even if your plane departs from the first one; the security lines are always long (its better to be selected for a thorough search – and I know, its happened to me 4 out of 5 times); and, of course, the rental car companies are an additional 10-15 minute shuttle ride from baggage claim
23. New York La Guardia – it's ugly, you expect a delay; if it’s a busy day you might see a bunch of bags simply stacked on each other leaving you thinking, “how the hell will my bags arrive?” positive: the flight path over NYC is a sight to see especially at night (except when you see it 5 times over while circling)
24. Chicago O'Hare - it's another stupid big airport with misleading signage though unlike The Generalist I haven't had a really horrible experience their yet; it does have a lot of eating spots but then again it has to
25. New Orleans – traffic to the airport is too congested (special shouts to my taxi driver for her creative driving), security check line extended back to the Mississippi, and some parts of the airport look like a middle school
26. Oklahoma City – I don’t remember much other than it being an eyesore due to an overwhelming amount of construction – that’s all that sticks out and that’s unfortunate

815,162. Las Vegas – This previously said: "I’ve never been (as an adult) but it has gambling - and by default, when you deal with The Generalists, its #1." Well, I definitely needed to go as an adult. Yes, you can gamble at the airport but naturally it's all slot machines and The Generalist is the one who gets all kinds of slot love (ALL KINDS - it's crazy to me). I, on the other hand, get murdered on the slotty slots. More importantly, after my reservation was missing for about a half-hour on the worst airline in existence (that's you America West), and I stood in the worst arranged security line I've ever seen, I missed my return flight. Luckily, I was able to parlay this into a first-class seat on a direct red-eye flight an hour later. I understand it was probably the worst time to have a flight leaving from Las Vegas (New Years Day) but to have four security lines all converge into one on the left (I was in the farthest right and thus, most disadvantaged) is just stupid; all of the above was further reinforced during All-Star Weekend where it was clearly unprepared though admittedly I should be more grateful given I went unscathed; I'll get over all of this one day and appreciate the fact thats it is literally (a healthy) walking distance from the strip

Airport List

Top US Airports:

1. Las Vegas - Because of the Gambling (obviously)
2. Minneapolis/St. Paul - All of these airports are starting to look alike, but the arcade put this one on the map
3. Atlanta - Chick-Fil-A plus
4. Cincy/Northern Kentucky - Plenty of starbucks, nice book store, bang bang
5. Salt Lake City - Suprise, suprise. The Delta Crown Room Club here is fire. You also take off right next to the mountains, nice view.
   
6. Detroit - I know you're shocked as hell (me too), but the new japanese resturant sealed it. Moved down because familarity breeds contempt
7. National - Because of the Cheesecake Factory and the seafood resturant. Good lighting
8. Philadelphia - Barely makes the list because of the krispy kreme

Ambivalent Airports

• Columbia, SC - Very pleasant suprise. If it wasn't for the fact that only small planes fly here, this might make the above list. The rocking chairs are a very nice touch.
  
• Raleigh/Durham - ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... the sweet iced tea saved this one from making the next list
• Portland - Primarily because of Peete's. Also, nice layout. Like Salt Lake City, there's a nice view on landing (green forests)
  
• Midway - I know folks are going to be shocked that this one made the ambivalent list, but the Potbelly saves it from further disgrace...
• Dallas/FTW - Upon further reflection, nothing special
• San Diego - ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I was there a couple months ago, and I can't even remember it. Not a good sign.
• Denver - Tough to get through security sometimes, but otherwise I like the design. But the security process really sucks. Only slightly less than Las Vegas, which honestly should be moved down.
  
• Logan (Boston) - A lot of people hate Logan, but I haven't had terrible experiences here. Try the restaurant right before security.
  
• San Francisco - Not a fan, very functional circle though.

Worst US Airports (In no particular article because they suck):

• 96. BWI - I feel like i've never had a good experience here. Also, there should be much better food.
  
• 97. LaGuardia (NYC)- Its just something about it that I hate. I can't figure it out. Maybe its the 40 dollar cab ride to midtown.
• 98. LAX (Los Angeles)- Behemoth of ineptitude
• 99. Alberquerque - What the fuck were they thinking?
• 100. O'Hare (Chicago)- Literally hell on earth. I mean I know Chicago and I don't get along, but dayuuuum, is it like that? I swear to God, my flight gate couldn't have been further from the security check point if it was in Peoria. Not only did i get put on another airline, but of course the airline was at another terminal... A horrible, horrible ordeal which i would wish on no one (especially because you had to go outside to walk between the terminals - in a snowstorm mind you). Just fly into midway, trust me.