All Things Political, vol. 6

Okay. Someone clearly needs to put down the laPtop and back away from the blog. I'm trying. In the meantime...

Came across some interesting trivia in my research for the last post. The 3rd person in the presidential line of succession, after Dick and Nancy, is one Mr. Robert Byrd, Democrat from West Virginia. This is infinitely fascinating in its implications. First, because if the least popular president of all time were to be incapacitated (God bless us), he would immediately be replaced by the only person in the country less preferable than himself (God help us). Then, if that person were to fall ill, he would immediately be replaced by the Speaker of the House, whom I don't know anything about, so we'll skip her. Now, if something were to happen to her, another Democrat would take her place. But, said Democrat would also be 90 years old, would have voted against the Civil Rights Act, vowed never to serve in the armed forces with black officers, and would once have been a member of the KKK. Finally, if bad luck or old age got the best of Mr. Byrd, Replacement #4 would be what appears from all observations to be a mindless drone of the original president.

Sleep tight.

Is it me?

As a life-long lover of dogs, I hate to think of anyone abusing them for sport. Ergo I'm no fan of dog-fighting. However... the logic of the ever more popular dog-fighting = end of NFL career argument is completely escaping me. Of course, I see how going to federal prison could negatively affect a person's quarterback rating. I even see how having your QB indicted on federal charges is a bad look for an organization. But that's business.

What I don't see is how animal cruelty is cause for a national public outcry. Now it could just be me, and the fact that I get 75% of my news from ESPN. Maybe in the non-sports world of news, no one cares all that much (although this video from the floor of the U.S. Senate suggests otherwise. I wonder if he ever got that worked up about human rights violations), but in the sports world, kats are going crazy. And the altogether foolish part of it is that very few people seem to care that what Vick (allegedly) did was against federal law. We only seem to care that it was mean to dogs. One sports newscaster even remarked that he couldn't imagine young kids wanting to wear Vick's jersey anymore after finding out how he treats little puppies. Word??? Again, I love dogs. I just don't see how a person's lack of love for dogs should be related to their place on a football team.

There's also the possibility that, as a country, we have some kinda crazy soft spot for doggies. I could see that being the case. Still, I can think of a lot of f*cked up things we do to animals. (Ever seen where your meat comes from?) And no one is trying to send the Tyson chicken man to prison. So... I guess the moral of the story is... If you have to be an animal, be a dog.

Read a book, b*tches

So I find myself in the horns of a dilemma. There is a certain YouTube video to which I simply must refer you. But how to make said referral... I could A) Steal it from the blog I got it from (I steal things sometimes) and post it here, making it more likely that you'll actually watch it. Or I could B) refer you to said blog (showing love to the blogger in the process) and hope that I've earned enough faith that you'll actually take my suggestion and go there.

I think I'll go with the latter option.

! ! ! Click Here ! ! !

Who Needs Bees?

The good folks at Slate recently did their part to quell the panic over the whole honeybee disappearance thing. Turns out, we don't need bees so much afterall. For lots of reasons, but most interestingly, to me, because we can "culivate" other insects to pollinate crops for us. Two points for science.

China Is THE Place To Be...

...in August 2008. I mean who knows where one of those rockets may be directed.

Faking the Band 4

Yes folks, it's time to make the band. Again. If you are sleeping on the marvel of comedy that is Making the Band 4, please wake up. Never ever ever in your long-legged life have you seen 20 hard-core kats straight punk each other on some Boyz II Men. No one but no one has felt "End of the Road" that hard since like 1997. My only regret is that Dave Chappelle isn't around to spoof it.

It's the Questions, vol. 2

1. If you were a major league pitcher and Barry Bonds were one homerun short of Hank Aaron's record, what are the chances you'd pitch to him?

2. After politics and health care, shouldn't Michael Moore's next movie be about America's education system? (And did anyone see America: Freedom to Fascism?)

3. How awesome would it have been if KG had become a Bull?

4. What was the last rap song that made you think, Man, why am I working a regular job when I could write a Top 10 rap song in like 5 minutes? (Mine was Party Like a Rock Star.)

5. Aren't the BET Awards a lot better than you ever expected them to be?

6. Why are there so many great movies coming out this summer?

7. What the hell is an umberella? And does it come from the same place as oxygen maskes?

8. If you could be famous for something, what would it be?

9. Remember when your life revolved around your friends? (Shouldn't it always be that way?)

10. Are you sleeping on Making the Band 4? Well wake the hell up then.

We're Just Gonna Wear This Out

Gwen Verdon and some '60s Bob Fosse moves scored to...well, what else? You should really stick with this because some parts match up so perfectly.

Puff's Pearls of Wisdom

Perhaps nothing is as consistently fascinating to me as the complete disconnect between my own graduate school experience and those of almost everyone else I know. If you were to survey my circle of friends in school right now, at best you'd have a 10% chance of finding anyone who would describe the experience as anything better than a dream-killing, soul-crushing labor of love. I recently attended a graduate student conference where the keynote was an appeal to keep the faith; the endless criticisms, set-backs, and let downs are a part of the process no matter who you are.

Except that they're not. Which brings me to the fascinating part. I can imagine, but have no personal experience with the kind of frustration that makes people question whether getting a graduate degree is worth all the trouble. And a number of folks I know have decided it's not. So what decides the difference? And how do you know if it's for you? Well, a few things:

1. Whether you're actually interested in the field you've chosen. For instance, I know a few aspiring political scientists who have no interest in political institutions. Not a good look. Makes studying for all those exams (on institutions) a lot harder than it otherwise would be. Before you commit to a 6-8 year program, ask yourself, am I interested in numbers, people, or institutions? Then pick a field that fits your interest.

2. The presence or absence of a mentor. I figure the difference between an advisor and a mentor is that the former tells you what you need to know ("Publish or perish") and the latter tells you what you need to hear ("Your dissertation will be great!"). How do you find a mentor? That starts during the application process. Keep track of whether faculty in a given program do little things like return your emails and phone calls, offer to meet with you, express interest in your work, or refer you to other people who could be helpful. If you email someone and they respond by sending you their phone number and saying you should feel free to call with questions, that's a pretty good sign. If you email someone and you never hear from them, maybe save your $85 application fee and don't waste your time.

3. Listening to your mentor (or your advisor if those are different people.) One of the most interesting things I hear from graduate students is that you should never let an advisor discourage you from doing the work you want to do. In some cases, I'm sure this is right. In others... having someone who'll tell you that your project, while interesting, has about a 0% chance of landing you a job, is damn near invaluable. God forbid you have the satisfaction of writing your dissertation on what you're really interested in, only to find out that no one else is the least bit interested in it. Gotta be able to tell when your advisor is just being closed-minded, and when they're actually saving you from years of heartache.

4. Six years is a long time to live somewhere you don't want to be. I must say I hated on many a school because it was in the middle of nowhere. As wonderful as your department may be, your advisors aren't gonna entertain you on weekends. Don't just pick where you want to go to school; pick where you want to live, cuz you're gonna be there for a while. Also, know how close you wanna be to friends and family. Maybe you're a phone person and moving cross-country is okay because you'll still talk to your people every day. Maybe you're not a phone person but all your folks are on IM, so it's cool. Or maybe you're no phone person, have no IM homies, and you're 600 miles from everyone you know and love. Maybe that's not so pleasant.

5. Focus. (Someone somewhere is laughing at me.) Teaching is great. TAing is cool. Being a research assistant puts some extra money in your pocket. But there is absolutely no point in being a well-paid research assistant with an excellent teaching portfolio and no dissertation proposal. No point whatsoever.

6. Funding. The magic word of graduate school. Talk to folks in the programs you're applying to. Are they working full-time and taking out loans, or are they hanging out at Starbucks writing their papers? Does your program pay for health insurance, or do you have to pay them? Do you have to teach to get funding? What if it takes you longer than 4-5 years? Do you have to find money somewhere else? I'm not (necessarily) saying you should go to the highest funder, but it's a consideration at least. Especially for folks who are going back to school after having worked for a salary. Some people don't adjust too well.

7. Roommate. The second magic word of graduate school. Now some of you will attend baller schools that keep you in the baller lifestyles to which you've become accustomed. For the rest of you, having someone to split the cost of living will put a few extra hundred dollars in your pocket every month. That's kick it money. That's leave town to see the homies when you're stressed out money. Don't sleep on it.

8. Relax. Everyone stresses over exams and changes their proposal a million times. Don't think you made a bad life decision just because it's harder than you thought it'd be. However difficult it is, as long as you're getting it done, and they're still paying you to be there, you're cool. Whether you know it or not, The Powers That Be are keeping a close eye on your progress. They'll be sure to let you know when it's time to worry.

To recap...

Pick the right field. Get yourself a mentor. Listen to your mentor. Study where you wanna live. Focus. Know the cost of living. Split the rent. Chill out.

You'll be Dr. before you know it.

The Simpsons Genius

My favorite quote of the year and the movie isn't out for another three weeks:

"This book doesn't have any answers."

- Homer Simpson

Something To Consider

"Can you think of any healthy, stable democracy anywhere in the world that is not nourished by strong and independent universities? Or the reverse question: Can you think of any authoritarian regime that tolerates academic freedom and independent universities? There is, I would argue, an inextricable link between long-term, steady democracies and strong universities, so too, with sustained economic development."

- Jonathan Fanton, President of the John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation