Hate List 2.0

More companies I wish I could ruin, in the order in which I would ruin them.

4. Bank of America
First of all, why are you calling me? Second, why are you calling me and asking me how much money I make? Third, why are you calling to ask how much money I make and telling me that my credit lines (which you set) are too high for my income (which you knew about when you set the lines)? You are the most fee-induced, interest-rate raising, credit limit lowering, automated system hell having institution I have ever done business with. And if I thought I could actually get a person on the line, I would call and curse you out.

5. O'Hare Airport
Not the whole thing. Just the uber retarded, super ridiculous, utterly inane signage for the bus/shuttle center that took me down an elevator, through a corridor, and back up an elevator, eventually pointing me directly to a freakin' brick wall, all to get me across the street and around the corner. You are stupid and I hate you.

6. Cold Stone Creamery
I don't really want to "ruin" Cold Stone per se. But it is forever on my Suspect List. Any company that can turn something you love into something that causes you instantaneous and gut-wrenching pain is worthy of a few skeptical faces. I mean my gut was literally wrenched. And to be perfectly honest, even when they're not giving me food poisoning, I've never been really impressed with the Creamery. Not nearly as satisfying as say, Haagen Dazs Sticky Toffee Pudding (which everyone and their mother needs to know about, immediately). But I recognize that lots of folks are fans, so I won't hate (too hard).

Hate List

Companies I Wish I Had the Power to Ruin (in the order in which I would ruin them):

1. Bally Total Fitness - Why is it that a company that's been in the gym business forever only this year decided to offer pay-as-you-go memberships? Could it be all the money they were making collecting fees from people they had trapped in insanely long contracts? Or the money they made when those people changed their minds and Bally's sold their contracts to collection agencies? Really, who can pick a company one day, and know they'll still be happy with that company 3 years later??? No one. And evil, evil, Bally's knows that.

2. AT&T - Now... in all fairness... part of this was a misunderstanding. Still, when you realize that it's a misunderstanding, you're telling me I still have to pay you the $120 that you mistakenly charged me and then wait 2-3 months for you to give it back? Cuz there's no way for you to just credit my account in the meantime right? And... AND... When I call and tell you that the repairmen who charged me the $120 never gave me the supposed receipt for services I was supposed to get, the best you can say is, "Well, they were supposed to leave you a receipt." Inefficiency like that should ruin a company.

3. Comcast Cable - Between the cable company and the NFL, somebody needs to figure out how to get me these Thursday games. This is ridiculous. And why does a package that costs $6.99 increase my bill by $16. It should be illegal to quote someone a price that doubles with taxes and "fees."

On the bright side, if you're ever going crazy for cookies and cream and your local grocer is out, Haagen Dazs Vanilla Swiss Almond just might get you through.