Young Professional Hints 1.2

Desk Placement:

Important. If you work in an office, it is imperative that your computer screen not be facing the door. If this is your current configuration, congrats, you've just taken 2 years off your life. Why? Paranoia, my little office buddies, paranoia... Especially, especiiially if you like to listen to music through headphones... You get this weird feeling that everyone is sneaking up on you all the time. Your head turns around at every whisper.... Not a good look.

Fortunately, you have a couple options at this point:

1. Quit your job, and find a place that has a cubicle (works well for concealing information)
2. Rearrange your office to arrange for more peripheral vision (gives you a jump on the enemy's position)
3. Ditch the music/headphones
4. Install one of those things that they have in corner stores that rings everytime someone comes arcoss the threshold of your door
5. Close your office door (unfortunately you run the risk of being considered the office shut-in if done too often)
6. Don't visit websites that don't deal with official office business (LOL, yeah right!!!)

Young Professional Hints 1.1

How to survive boring meetings.

The framework for this activity is consistent active writing. We’re not writing articles here folks, so you gotta use your bullets. Without further adieu, let’s get started:

1. Create a budget (analyze spending habits)
2. Prepare topics for your blog
3. Daydream about previous sexual experiences (my personal favorite). Potentially high risk activity. When your eyes start to zone out for extended periods of time you become an obvious candidate for someone who is lost (just look in the eyes of your youngest coworker after 30 minutes of a boring meeting. then you'll see the look you want to avoid). Remember, this is about perception. You’ve got to at least act like you’re engaged. I only try to use this one when you can’t get to a pot of coffee, and you need desperately to stay awake.
4. Think about new ways to decorate your apartment. Think then write, think then write. This has to be the routine.
5. Make a list of qualities of potential mates
6. Write e-mails in long hand to people you haven’t spoken with in a while.
7. Text message your friends. Another very dangerous strategy. At least try to be inconspicuous. This strategy can only be used once per meeting.
8. Make lists. Favorite songs, favorite airports-- see previous post (#8 courtesy of guest generalist)

Airport List

Top US Airports:

1. Las Vegas - Because of the Gambling (obviously)
2. Minneapolis/St. Paul - All of these airports are starting to look alike, but the arcade put this one on the map
3. Atlanta - Chick-Fil-A plus
4. Cincy/Northern Kentucky - Plenty of starbucks, nice book store, bang bang
5. Salt Lake City - Suprise, suprise. The Delta Crown Room Club here is fire. You also take off right next to the mountains, nice view.
   
6. Detroit - I know you're shocked as hell (me too), but the new japanese resturant sealed it. Moved down because familarity breeds contempt
7. National - Because of the Cheesecake Factory and the seafood resturant. Good lighting
8. Philadelphia - Barely makes the list because of the krispy kreme

Ambivalent Airports

• Columbia, SC - Very pleasant suprise. If it wasn't for the fact that only small planes fly here, this might make the above list. The rocking chairs are a very nice touch.
  
• Raleigh/Durham - ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... the sweet iced tea saved this one from making the next list
• Portland - Primarily because of Peete's. Also, nice layout. Like Salt Lake City, there's a nice view on landing (green forests)
  
• Midway - I know folks are going to be shocked that this one made the ambivalent list, but the Potbelly saves it from further disgrace...
• Dallas/FTW - Upon further reflection, nothing special
• San Diego - ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I was there a couple months ago, and I can't even remember it. Not a good sign.
• Denver - Tough to get through security sometimes, but otherwise I like the design. But the security process really sucks. Only slightly less than Las Vegas, which honestly should be moved down.
  
• Logan (Boston) - A lot of people hate Logan, but I haven't had terrible experiences here. Try the restaurant right before security.
  
• San Francisco - Not a fan, very functional circle though.

Worst US Airports (In no particular article because they suck):

• 96. BWI - I feel like i've never had a good experience here. Also, there should be much better food.
  
• 97. LaGuardia (NYC)- Its just something about it that I hate. I can't figure it out. Maybe its the 40 dollar cab ride to midtown.
• 98. LAX (Los Angeles)- Behemoth of ineptitude
• 99. Alberquerque - What the fuck were they thinking?
• 100. O'Hare (Chicago)- Literally hell on earth. I mean I know Chicago and I don't get along, but dayuuuum, is it like that? I swear to God, my flight gate couldn't have been further from the security check point if it was in Peoria. Not only did i get put on another airline, but of course the airline was at another terminal... A horrible, horrible ordeal which i would wish on no one (especially because you had to go outside to walk between the terminals - in a snowstorm mind you). Just fly into midway, trust me.

right?

"you know as well as we do that right, as the world goes, is only in question between equals in power, while the strong do what they can and the weak suffer what they must."

Career vs. Job

As you can tell, I often muse about my job and my current/future relationship to the competitive capitalist marketplace. A couple years ago, I was participating in a seminar when a presenter gave a rough outline for measuring personal job satisfaction. I thought I'd pass it on.

3 Factors for Job Happiness (factors may or may not be intuititvely understood)

1) money
2) coworkers
3) type of work done [what type of enjoyment you get from doing your "job"]

Normally, if you feel good about two of these things, then you are pretty satisfied. If you can nail three of these things, you're done. Good night. Try to ride that mutherfucker out to retirement. But if you have just have one (or god forbid none), it's time to head to www.idealist.org or www.monster.com (see, I've made it easy for you)

By the way... You should definitely see New Mexico...