Better Know a District

Stephen Colbert is a freakin' genius.

Where's the Buzz?

An excerpt from Time (July 31, 2006 issue date):

"Where's the Buzz?"

Bees may be the summer picnicker's bane, but they're a crucial part of many ecosystems - and their role in pollinating crops makes them important to the economy as well. That's why scientists are alarmed by a new study in the journal Science. Over the past 26 years, say European researches, the diversity of species in British and Dutch wild bees - and the wildflowers they favor - has plummeted. That's not to say there are fewer bees (some species are thriving) but there are fewer varieties, and that is not good news. An ecosystem with fewer species is like a baseball team with only a couple of good pitchers: there isn't much to fall back on if one goes out of commission. One small positive note is that the disappearing species are mostly picky bees that pollinate just a few plants. The survivors tend to be the versatile generalists - those that pollinate a variety.

Nobody is sure whether the simultaneous drop in wildflower diversity is the cause or the effect of the bee decline. But scientists think the overall phenomenon may be linked mainly to loss of habitat for both plants and bees as countryside is plowed over for development - yet another price nature is payin for human civilization.

- By Michael D. Lemonick

State of the American Black Man

Funny? Bad Taste? You be the judge... (for a little context, Esquire had a issue on 'The State of the American Man'. They asked Aaron McGruder to submit something on the state of the Black Man, and he sent them a questionnaire)

"STATE OF THE BLACK MAN QUESTIONNAIRE" by Aaron McGruder

1. How many hours a week do you spend watching BET?
A) 70-80 B) 90-120 C) All of them

2. How many white t-shirts do you own?

3. How many white people's home numbers do you have?
A) 0 B) 1-4 C) More than 5

4. How many collect calls do you receive from a correctional facility? How many do you accept?

5. Whose fault if you don't have a job? A) The white man B) Nobody's hiring C) I got a felony D) 'Cause that job was some ol' BS anyway.....

6. What is your favorite movie? A) Friday B) Next Friday C) Friday After Next

7. Tupac or Biggie? A) Tupac B) Biggie

8. What is your Katrina status?
A) Displaced by Katrina B) Inconvenienced by family displaced by Katrina

9. If you were caught in a hurricane and had to "scavenge" to survive, what would you take first? A) Food B) Clothing C) Flat-screen

10a. Do you date outside your race? A) Yes B) No

10b. If no, do you know what you're missing? A) Yes B) No C) I'm not sure

10c. If yes, what is her ethnicity? A) Asian

11. What costs more? A) Your house B) Your chain

12) Where does your money gain the most interest?
A) Your watch B) Your car C) Your grill

13) How much do you tip? A) 5% B) 2% C) Depends on what I'm workin' with

14. Why didn't you vote in the last election?
A) My ride ain't show up B) I was 'sleep C) I got a felony

15. What is the last book you read?
A) The Source B) XXL C) Do text messages count?

16. What career path (legal) has the greatest chance of success?
A) Rapper B) Athlete C) Playing the lottery

17. Do you have any idea how f'd up Wal-Mart is?
A) No B) Man, I don't care about that s---, I'm trying to save money.....

18. Why didn't you go to college?
A) Wasn't interested B) Couldn't afford it C) Got drafted into the NBA

19. What is your favorite news show?
A) Anderson Cooper 360 B) MSNBC C) 106 & Park

20. Does George Bush care about black people?
A) No B) Yes C) Don't know, been in jail since Clinton"

The Double Whammy

Back-to-back posts from Yours Truly. Nope. It's not a dream. As promised, July 19th's Word from the Report has found its way onto the blog. And while I was browsing the Colbert Collection, I came up with a few others worth sharing.

Enjoy!

The set-up: The Canadian Parliament (or whatever) has just taken a vote of No Confidence in its Prime Minister (or whoever).


The set-up: The Pentagon has just renamed the War on Terror, the Long War.


The set-up: (self-explanatory)

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Back in May, the Chicago Tribune ran a photo of Barack Obama standing behind a podium with a presidential seal and the headline "Obama in '08?" And it got me thinking...

If Barack Obama ran for president tomorrow - or in the next election - would I vote for him? There are 2 possibilities. 1) He has a wack opponent, in which case I cast a lesser evil ballot with no problem. But 2) He has a qualified opponent and I quite possibly find myself voting against a very intelligent and charismatic black presidential candidate. Not surprisingly, my (apparently well-ingrained) racial politics makes the second possibility hard to get my brain around. So let's think it out.

In the past 6 years, there have (apparently) been 3 viable black presidential candidates.
1. Colin Powell. I actually really like this man. He was suspect for a few years while he was working for the enemy, but I think he got his mind right in time to have his membership reinstated.
2. Condoleeza Rice. When (white) political observers would throw her name out as a possible candidate, I would always wonder if they had any idea how much black people hate her guts. Art may never have imitated life as accurately as when your girl was "given away" on Chappelle's Show. I wonder what the chances are of a black president being elected without a single black vote. I do wonder.
3. Barack Obama. As much I love a good First Black... I'm not sure Mr. Obama is really qualified for the job. He may be an excellent senator - I really can't say - but, never having governed anything, I wouldn't want him to start with The Free World. I feel like the learning curve may be just a bit too steep for that.

I think it all boils down to expectations. When you don't expect anything - good or bad - from a president, just seeing a Black face in the White House counts as a pretty substantial victory. But since the current president has so aptly demonstrated how high the stakes actually are, I think, for the first time in my life, I might actually ask for more from a Black president than that he just be black.

Hmmmmm...

52 Books, Week 23: Watership Down

"Watership Down tells the story of a group of rebellious rabbits who — against the wishes of their Chief Rabbit — escape from their threatened warren. The story follows their subsequent adventures. They find sanctuary in a warren on the down for which the book is titled, but the story continues after this."

Why I Read it: I actually heard about it on a lost podcast (the tv show), and then read a description on Amazon.com which raved about it. Its been described as Lord of the Rings with rabbits, and if you can get over the furry cute animal aspect of the work, it turns out to be a very good story.

Should You Put it on your list: Like I said if you like can over the cute fury animals, and are willing to get into a book about rabbits who are trying to organize a new society, then go for it. It weighs in at about 400+ pages, but it reads very quickly. The characters are pretty diverse, and they trouble they get in to
is compelling enough to hold your attention. May be a slightly risky move, but I wasn't disappointed.

The Next Best Thing

Well... with The Generalist prophesying the End Times, it seems we've stumbled onto something of a semi-daily posting schedule here at the Musings. I was waiting for an opening to make a contribution, but with the posts coming fast and furious these days, I guess I'd better get in where I fit in...

Last night I caught the infamous "Scientology Episode" of South Park. Given that I've probably seen 5 full episodes in my life, and only caught this one by accident - I was too busy to change the channel after The Colbert Report - I feel especially blessed (seriously) to have seen it. Consider this post my official endorsement. Classic stuff.

I won't comment on the specifics because I wouldn't want to ruin it for anyone, but let's just say it inspired me go in search of some of my other favorite tv moments. Last night's Word from the Report will be making its way onto the blog as soon as it shows up on YouTube. In the meantime, for your listening and viewing pleasure:

(the 1st "verse" is the funniest)

Subverting The Dominant Paradigm

According to the NY Post (forgive me), referencing a Pew Internet and American Life Project survey, the typical blogger is a white suburban male. Big surprise. 60% of bloggers are white (that actually seems low to me), 51% live in the suburbs, and 54% are male - with the vast majority choosing to write about their "life's experiences."

Well, we here at General Musings from Generalists directly contrast these very realities and it is for that very reason that this blog - at least in the short term - must live on.

Ok, maybe not really, but it felt good to type and I kind of bought the ish and subsequently, got caught up in the hype.


A new date on the calendar means another day of "involvement" for your boy Bush. Picture perfect...this is why the NY Post exists.

Feelin' Presidential...(v.2)

Shouts to (v.1). The Generalist initially beat me to posting this - appropriately so - but time for me to re-bless.

You know what's An Inconvenient Truth? It's when you walk outside and the tower reads 8:06 pm...94 degrees...and its stickier than a Krispy Kreme Donut.

And now to my favorite: I think this was His Holyness Georgie's shoutout to all of his uber-religious red (and non-red) state contingent. He's not really being condemned for this - and I mean come on, what % of the U.S. population doesn't occasionally curse, 10%? Yes, I'm including children. If we whittled it down to the black community, what 0.2%? 0.5%? -0.4?

But the biggest lesson from all this is: Don't Fuck Up. Seriously, don't. The internet is too swift like Stromile and unforgiving like Judge Mathis for one not to get got in this YouTube age. Speaking of which, holl@ cha boy Eddie Griffin ("any car you want...not a Bentley" classic.):



Now really, here it is. Oh, I think that's the first time - let's just say it is - I've used such language on this website...but "shit," if the President can, why not Aristocrates?



That's 3 generations of should-be Presidents and Binary Star like similes. Ask about me...but after, and only after, you ask about Stacey Dash.

52 Books, Week 22: Urban Tribes

This book is probably the perfect argument why some things shoud be left as a 5 page article. The text is an ethnography of the time a young urban professional spends between college and marriage. Sprinkled throughout the text are some wild jabs at a unifying theory, but it never really gets out of the gate in a coherent fashion (in all fairness to the author, at the end of the book he does admit that the whole thing could be bullshit).

Watts argues that small collectives of friends in big cities (between 5 and 40) are serving similar functions that young marriages did a generation ago (providing support networks, people to eat with, etc). Some of the points hit pretty close to home for me (especially since i'm terrified of the possibility of marriage), and it can almost be viewed as a rebuttal to the Bowling Alone argument that society is crumbling because people aren't participating in communal activities the way they used to in the good ole days (the rip roaring 6o's I guess, when every one was in the rotary club, or big bowling leagues).

I wish the book articulated its point better, but it didn't. Probably in the bottom 10% of books I read this year. I got this book in the greatest bookstore in the world (Powell's in Portland), and if I had done my due dilligence on Amazon.com, I would have probably passed. From this day on, I solemnly swear, not to purchase a book that has less than three stars. Lesson Learned...

Things I Should Have Blogged About (v.2)...

...over the past two weeks. Just some musings as I steal another reoccuring blog theme from The Generalist:

• How I thoroughly enjoyed the World Cup and had my sports viewing dominated by tier-two American Sports (soccer, golf, boxing, tennis). As its been said by others, I may not be a full-fledged soccer fan, but I'm a World Cup fan. South Africa, 2010, here I come!
• How after last night, I'm drinking coffee as I compose this post.
• That your favorite emcee's favorite emcee is universally becoming Lil' Wayne:

"Wanna know who's on my radar right now? Lil' Wayne. I can tell when a rapper is feeling his rhyme, when he dives into his craft. Wayne's at that point. He's goin' for broke. I love when people ain't bullsh*ttin' me. When they ain't just takin my money." - André 3000

Kanye West basically said something along the same lines, though, in true Kanye-speak. I would have figured that 3000 didn't even listen to Hip-Hop/Rap but obviously Wayne got to him, too. I say "too" because I did a quick perusal of my mp3 library's play count and Weezy looks like he's number 2 behind Coldplay. Go freakin' figure. The Generalist told me that someone said Wayne is rap's version of Seinfeld - he raps about nothing but does it so well. Couldn't agree more.

• That the University of Maryland did its thing over the past year.
• If I made a list of the most ridiculous characters in my lifetime, given his position in society, Kim Jong-Il may top the list. First, it was his incredible golf-game. Now, its this. Is comical the appropriate word?
• So, Gilbert Arenas is ready to sacrifice money for the Wizards and master the international 3-pointer and run a true point for the USA Team? Assuming all thats true, combined with his quirkiness and insane work effort, I'll take the occasional defense and missed free throws, for this cat on my team. And, he is.
• My particular group at work is up 164% in YOY Growth. My group is handling about 164% worth of workload.
• ...I started at my job two years ago, today. Happy Bastille Day, folks.

The Generalist speaks of impending DangerDoom for the General Musings. With the caveat that it will stay around at least until he bangs out all of his book posts (December 2006), and the possible reemergence of Puff, anything can happen...I mean Tupac is still rapping about things thats happening tomorrow.

Back in the Habit

So I saw An Inconvenient Truth tonight. Worthwhile stuff. Absolutely. For one, it gave me something to post on this blog besides a commentary on how I've been remiss in my postings. But more importantly, it delivered one of my all-time favorite quotes. From anyone, ever. Seriously, here's a sentence not many people will ever get a chance to say:

"I went to the North Pole... and I went under the polar ice cap... in a nuclear submarine."

Now in case the ridiculosity of what this man just said somehow gets past you, let's break it down by parts.

1. "I went to the North Pole..." Honestly, what percentage of the world's population will ever be able to say that? If you managed to survey the 100 most well-travelled people on Earth, maybe one of them (maybe one) would've had a reason to think about going to the North Pole.)
2. "... I went under the polar ice cap..." I'm sorry... under the polar ice cap??? Just take a minute to wrap your brain around that one. And just when you find yourself sitting in a movie theater thinking How the hell does a person get under a polar ice cap?...
3. "... in a fucking nuclear submarine." (profanity added for emphasis). At the end of the sentence, I involuntarily paused to wait for the punchline. No punchline folks. And the fact that it all just rolled off his tongue so smoothly, as if there was no difference between saying Scientists say the ice caps are melting, and I came up thru the ice caps in a nuclear submarine. ... Incredible. But maybe that's just me.

(Sidenote: Ironically, The Generalist and I recently had a conversation in which his incredulous reaction to the sentence "I flew a plane," eventually led me to assert that I would have no reaction to the sentence "I drove a submarine." At this time, I'm going to have to retract that assertion. wow.)

Also from tonight's outing, the trailer for the World Trade Center movie got me thinking that there are a few movies that I'll probably either never see or never see again. In particular:

• The Passion of the Christ
• United 93
• World Trade Center

I have to say that watching well-meaning people go to their deaths isn't any way I'd wanna spend my leisure time.

In automotive news, I've recently become acquainted with the BMW 330Ci Coupe. When I say "become acquanted," I mean I've become aware that they exist. Now, I've never (ever) been a fan of BMWs, but this car is beautiful to me. Only this model, and only in white. And chance has it that there are two of them parked near my apartment building on a regular basis. Always near the front and always clean. Turns out, though, that no amount of maintenance or spotlighting can make up for the garishness of a big-ass yellow boot anchoring your shit to the concrete. Which got me to thinking...

The baseline sticker price on a 330Ci is $37,600. The standard fine for a parking violation in the City of Chicago is $75. I've never paid the note on a $37,000 car. But my hunch (and I could be wrong) is that if indeed one can afford to pay the note on a $37,000 car (and one is apparently managing well enough since one is parking one's car on a public street in main view and obviously not worried about it being repossessed) then one can afford to pay a $75 parking ticket.

I have a similar, but less intense, hunch whenever somone walks up to me smoking a cigarette and asks for money for food. I feel like I know some people who would say that smoking is a form of self-medication and is thereby an absolutely rational behavior for someone who lacks basic resources like food. I don't doubt in the least that this is true. I do wonder how they paid for the cigarettes though. My natural curiosity I guess.

52 Books, Week 21: Foundation

As you can probably tell, General Musings from Generalists is dying a slow, painful death. But, because its trying its best to survive, I think we're gonna try to keep it on life support at least until I can bang out the rest of these book posts.

In the meantime, I would like to talk about a couple things i'm thankful for:

1) that my homeboy's do it so big;
2) the person who thought of the combination of high heels and short shorts;
3) the lost episodes of dave chappelle which are much better than i thought;
4) the everybody loves chris episode, where his father dances on the table;
5) miami and san diego weather (respectively);
6) the stacey dash pics (if you haven't seen these yet, you need to look harder);
7) and books.

Foundation:If you aren't really into sci-fi, you probably want to steer clear of this one. Issac Asimov is a very gifted writer, and if you're looking for an easy introduction into the genre you can start with this one. Foundation is one of the rare books i've read this year, that I couldn't wait to get back to. The plot moves pretty quickly, and makes some solid commentary on society (although its possible that this aspect stands out because i'm reading Orwell's 1984 right now). This book is the first in a 3-part series, and although i'm scared to death of committment, I'll probably get through all of these....